I tried to catch some fog. I mist. |
When chemists die, they barium |
Jokes about German sausages are the würst |
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran |
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime |
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it |
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me |
This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore |
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down |
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. |
They told me I had type A blood but it was a typo. |
A dyslexic man walked into a bra. |
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period! |
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. |
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. |
Energizer Bunny arrested! Charged with battery. |
I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me. |
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it. |
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus |
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. |
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. |
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! |
Broken pencils are pointless. |
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris ... are in Seine |
A backward poet writes ... inverse |
A man's home is his castle ..., in a manor of speaking. |
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before |
Practice safe eating - always use condiments |
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death |
A man needs a mistress ... just to break the monogamy |
A hangover is the wrath of grapes |
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. |
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? |
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion |
while sunbathing makes you well red |
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I |
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired |
The definition of a will?... (It's a giveaway.) |
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banan |
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your Count votes. |
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off |
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion |
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed |
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress |
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered |
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it |
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. |
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key |
Every calendar's days are numbered |
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine |
He had a photographic memory that was never developed |
A plateau is a high form of flattery |
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end |
Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall. |
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis |
Santa's Little Helpers are subordinate clauses |
Acupuncture is a jab well done. |