I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium
Jokes about German sausages are the würst
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me
This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood but it was a typo.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period!
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Energizer Bunny arrested! Charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
Broken pencils are pointless.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris ... are in Seine
A backward poet writes ... inverse
A man's home is his castle ..., in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before
Practice safe eating - always use condiments
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death
A man needs a mistress ... just to break the monogamy
A hangover is the wrath of grapes
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion
while sunbathing makes you well red
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired
The definition of a will?... (It's a giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banan
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your Count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key
Every calendar's days are numbered
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine
He had a photographic memory that was never developed
A plateau is a high form of flattery
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end
Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis
Santa's Little Helpers are subordinate clauses
Acupuncture is a jab well done.